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GOOSE
No! Now we’’re inverted!
Maverick pulls up off the wing of the inverted aircraft. His voice is calmness itself.
MAVERICK
HEY, ANY OF YOU GUYS SEEN AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER AROUND HERE?
Cougar looks over, surprised.
COUGAR
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MAVERICK
EVERYBODY’’S GOT TO BE SOMEWHERE…… NOW WE’’RE RIGHT WITH YOU. YOU ARE INVERTED. ROLL IT, COUGAR.
Nothing happens.
MAVERICK
COUGAR, THIS IS MAVERICK. HALF ROLL IT. NOW!
Cougar’’s plane completes the roll, is now upright.
GOOSE
We’’re on vapor, Cougar, you got to put it down.
COUGAR
It’’s crazy, man. Instruments are crazy. We’’re gonna have to eject.
GOOSE
TELL HIM, WILL YOU TELL HIM? OUR INSTRUMENTS ARE OKAY.
MAVERICK
YOU’’RE STRAIGHT AND LEVEL, COUGAR. COUGAR I’’M HANGING IN MY STRAPS. I TURN IT OVER AND I’’M STILL HANGING IN MY STRAPS. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON UP HERE? YOU’’RE NOT IN THE STRAPS. IT’’S VERTIGO, THAT’’S ALL IT IS. STAY ON MY WING. I’’LL DROP YOU OFF.
Maverick pulls up wing tip to wing tip, inches apart.
COUGAR
MAVERICK.
MAVERICK
YEAH, COUGAR?
COUGAR
YOU BETTER NOT BE RAGGING ME…… IF YOU’’RE FLYING UPSIDE DOWN……
MAVERICK
NO JOKE, COUGAR. ON THE LEVEL. EVEN I WOULDN’’T DO THAT TO YOU.
COUGAR
I’’M UPSIDE DOWN. I KNOW IT. I’’M GONNA EJECT.
GOOSE
Look at the weather! They’’ll never find us! We’’re near out of fuel. Put it down.
MAVERICK
COUGAR, YOU’’RE ON THE BALL.
COUGAR
OKAY…… OKAY. BUT IF I LAND THIS THING UPSIDE DOWN. AND I LIVE. I’’LL HAVE YOUR BUTT!
GOOSE
You’’ll have mine, Cougar. It’’ll be where your head used to be.
EXT. FLIGHT DECK
All eyes are on what they can see of the approach of the two planes. Maverick drops him off at the pattern and circles. The LSO watches the approach. The Tomcat drops a wing, straightens, drops the wing, straightens …… the approach of a pilot experiencing vertigo as Cougar tries to satisfy his inner ear.
LSO
LEVEL…… YOUR WINGS…… EASY…… YOU’’RE SETTLING…… FLY THE BALL.
A wind shear just off the ramp drives the plane suddenly down.
LSO
POWER…… POWER!…… POWER!…… WAVE OFF! WAVE OFF WAVE OFF!
AFTERBURNERS BLAST, but the Tomcat horrifyingly settles tail-low toward the deck. The deck crew watches in terror as the plane wallows in toward them. The LSO’’S turn, take a few steps and throw themselves off the flight deck.
They sail into the night toward the surging seas a hundred feet below, then are caught in safety nets hung off the side.
THE PLANE
Settles, settles, standing on it’’s engines, trying to arrest it’’s downward momentum. The hook raises sparks as it skids across the deck…… The plane stops falling and hangs for a moment, about to blast back up, when the hook catches the last wire…… The wire snags it, plucking 45,000 pounds of fuel, metal and men out of the air and slamming it all to the deck. WHAMMMM! Right wheel flies up the deck and over the side…… the gear collapses. The plane SCREECHES sideways. The crew watches helplessly as it skids slams into it and comes to rest in cloud of fuel vapor and steam.
The LSO runs up, shouting into the mike.
LSO
COUGAR, GOOSE…… COME IN COUGAR! SHUT YOUR ENGINES DOWN, YOU’’VE ARRIVED.
AIR BOSS
GHOST RIDER! ACKNOWLEDGE! GHOST RIDER! ACKNOWLEDGE!
Crash crew leaps into action. The fire crew is there. The man in the Silver Suit jumps up on the wing and crawls to the cockpit. The figures inside are not moving. He hits the canopy release. The canopy pops open. Silver suit grabs at the rear seat harness release. He screams through his suit’’s aluminized cloth……
SILVER SUIT
Goose, can you hear me? Goose!
Nothing for a moment. He’’s dead! Then the RIO’’S helmet moves…… His head turns. He tears the mask away from his face, looks up at Silver Suit. His head clears.
GOOSE
Oh, Hello…… Valet parking?
Silver suit is stunned for a moment. He straightens up, his head inclines quizzically. Then it hits him.
SILVER SUIT
Son of a bitch!
GOOSE
You will put it up front, with the Porsches?
He grabs him under the armpits, drags him out of the plane.
GOOSE
Hey…… easy…… Take it easy…… I’’m a veteran!
Goose grabs a passing crewman by the arm.
GOOSE
Can you check under the hood. I thought I heard a funny noise.
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