奥斯卡最佳原创剧本奖  原版剧本  英文剧本  美国

　　WAYMOND （CEO）
　　你怎麽會…你先……
　　（What are you- Wait you go-）
　　EVELYN （MOVIE STAR） （CONT’D）
　　你怎麽會…不好意思…你先説…
　　（What are- I’m sorry， you go）
　　They both shut up and stare at the floor. They laugh.
　　WAYMOND （CEO） （CONT’D）
　　我在廣告牌上看到你.可能這聽來很傻…我在想你會記得我嗎？
　　WAYMOND （CEO） （CONT’D）
　　I saw your face on a illboard and- This is Silly…… I wondered if you remembered me……
　　EVELYN （MOVIE STAR）
　　Of course， 但…你…變得很帥.
　　哇噻， 那是真的嗎？
　　EVELYN （MOVIE STAR）
　　Of course， but…… you look So……good…… Is that a knock off？
　　It’s definitely real.
　　EVELYN （MOVIE STAR） （CONT’D）
　　你不是應該在美國？不是很窮嗎？
　　EVELYN （MOVIE STAR） （CONT’D）
　　But…… you should be in America. And very poor.
　　How……？
　　WAYMOND （CEO）
　　（laughs）
　　還好啦!我⽐較幸運.
　　WAYMOND （CEO）
　　（laughs）
　　I guess I got lucky.
　　This dissonance hurts her brain. A hand grabs Evelyn’s Shoulder. It’s her MASTER. Evelyn waves him away.
　　MASTER
　　全神貫注， 不能再分⼼了.
　　MASTER
　　No time for distractions.
　　He grabs her wrist to tug her away. Evelyn resists but realizes her hands are now in handcuffs.
　　ALPHA WAYMOND （O.S.）
　　Evelyn! Come back!
　　
　　56 INT. IRS 9TH FLOOR - ORIGINAL UNIVERSE
　　
　　Evelyn is being detained by a police officer while a small team of Police struggle with Alpha Waymond. They are now in a hallway by a freight elevator.
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　Evelyn! Jump to another combat universe. Try peeing yourself， it’s always a good jumping padWHAM. An officer knocks Alpha out cold with their gun.
　　EVELYN
　　What？ Waymond! Come back!
　　No response. Evelyn doesn’t know what to do. She spots another officer escorting a shell-shocked Deirdre towards the elevator. Deirdre yanks a staple out of her forehead.
　　DEIRDRE
　　（to Evelyn）
　　What did you do to me？
　　EVELYN
　　I didn’t do that.
　　OFFICER #1
　　Sir， we have movement on the elevator. Did you request back up？
　　The elevator number slowly ascends to their floor.
　　OFFICER #2
　　Fuck. These new recruits don’t know how to stay put.
　　（into walkie）
　　We’ve detained the assailants. Back up was not requested. Y’all wasted a trip. Copy？
　　The officers all share a laugh. No response on the walkie.
　　OFFICER #2 （CONT’D）
　　I said do you copy？
　　
　　57 ALPHAVERSE: INT. LAUNDRY RV CONTROL ROOM
　　
　　Alpha Waymond watches the screens in horror.
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　Run， Evelyn. Come on， run.
　　
　　58 INT. IRS 10TH FLOOR - ORIGINAL UNIVERSE
　　
　　The Officers ominously watch the elevator reach their floor.
　　DING. The doors open. Through pink smoke stands a woman in a Vegas-style Elvis jumpsuit， a cigarette hangs from her mouth， and she is accompanied by a pig on a leash.
　　It’s Joy. No， it’s Jobu Tupaki. She exhales more pink smoke.
　　EVELYN
　　Joy？ Why do you look so stupid？
　　Jobu wobbles and sways out the elevator door led by her pig.
　　OFFICER #2
　　Miss， you can’t be up here.
　　Officer #2 stands in her way. She takes one last drag from her cigarette and then puts it out right on his badge.
　　JOBU
　　Is it that I can’t be here， or that I’m not allowed to be here？
　　EVELYN
　　禮貌⼀點!
　　EVELYN
　　You show them some respect!
　　Jobu places her foot on the Officer’s shoe and taps it.
　　JOBU
　　See I can physically be here. So you meant to say you’re not allowing me to be here.
　　Jobu Tupaki laughs in his face and begins to walk by him.
　　OFFICER #2
　　Alright， hands behind your head.
　　Officer #2 pulls out a pair of handcuffs.
　　JOBU
　　You’re going to make me walk through you？
　　OFFICER #2
　　No ma’am， I can’t let you do that.
　　JOBU
　　Again， with the "can’t". I don’t think you understand the meaning of that word.
　　She reaches out and touches him on the nose. RUMBLE - He tries to speak but confetti pours out. POP! He explodes into confetti. Everyone screams. Jobu walks towards Evelyn.
　　JOBU （CONT’D）
　　See， I can walk through you.
　　Evelyn’s brain is broken. What did her daughter just do？
　　OFFICER #1
　　Officer down! Take her out!
　　A gun is pushed against the back of Jobu’s head. Jobu turns， Shoves the gun in her mouth， and takes a deep drag like a bong while he uselessly pulls the trigger.
　　She spins him， RUMBLE POP! They are now dressed as Salsa dancers and as they dance， the others OPEN FIRE， and he becomes her human shield， riddled with bullets， blood Splattering the walls. She tosses him into the other officers.
　　Handcuffed Evelyn awkwardly grabs Waymond’s unconscious body and drags him away. Deirdre hides behind a corner.
　　Jobu jumps on another officer RUMBLE POP! They are now luchador fighters. He is midair， upside down. She pile drives his neck.
　　Jobu tumbles until she is face-to-face with Evelyn. She winks at her. Then BANG. Jobu’s chest explodes with blood， Splattering Evelyn’s face. We reveal a guard behind her holding a smoking gun. Jobu stumbles forward clutching her chest. Evelyn is horrified.
　　JOBU
　　Don’t…… worry…… Evelyn……
　　She reveals she is holding a bottle of ketchup. No wound.
　　JOBU （CONT’D）
　　……it’s organic.
　　The officer drops his gun and charges Jobu with his baton， She catches it and it becomes a veiny dildo. Jobu violently beats the officer with the dildo， finally knocking him unconscious.
　　EVELYN （CONT）
　　Oh my god， it’s you……
　　SLOW MOTION: Jobu looks up at her mother still holding the undulating dildo. Evelyn is horrified.
　　EVELYN （CONT） （CONT’D）
　　You’re Juju Toobootie.
　　DEIRDRE （BAGEL） （O.S.）