奥斯卡最佳原创剧本奖  原版剧本  英文剧本  美国

　　66 HOTDOG UNIVERSE: INT. LAUNDROMAT
　　
　　On the TV， the hot dog couple move into the final phase of their love ritual. They place their hot dog fingers in each other’s mouths. A red and yellow substance that looks like ketchup and mustard oozes down their lips. It’s beautiful.
　　
　　67 INT. IRS 9TH FLOOR HALLWAY - ORIGINAL UNIVERSE
　　
　　EVELYN
　　It’s wrong. SO WRONG!
　　JOBU
　　No wrong， no right. Only “wronght”.
　　No Coke， no Pepsi. Only “Pokesi”.
　　It all just tastes the same. Here， let me help you open your mind.
　　With her hands together， Jobu opens her fingers like Spock.
　　JOBU （CONT’D）
　　Slide your fingers between mine.
　　She reaches her hands out to Evelyn who is too dazed to resist. We hear the familiar ominous RUMBLE.
　　JOBU （CONT’D）
　　Open up. Take a peek.
　　Evelyn grimaces as she realizes this is the infamous playground Hand Vagina trick in which young boys approximate
　　the appearance of a vagina.
　　Evelyn reluctantly opens up her hands and peaks inside. The RUMBLE is a deafening storm. Her eyes go wide-
　　
　　67-1 Between her fingers: a large white room with a dark swirling mass like a churning black hole that resembles a bagel.
　　EVELYN
　　（mesmerized）
　　What is it？
　　JOBU
　　A bagel. I got bored one day. So I
　　put EVERYTHING on a bagel. All of my hopes and dreams. My old report cards. Every breed of dog. Every
　　last personal ad on craigslist.
　　JOBU （CONT’D）
　　Sesame. Poppy seed. Salt. And it collapsed in on itself. When you really put everything on a bagel， it becomes this. The truth.
　　A strange peace comes over Evelyn’s face.
　　EVELYN
　　What’s the truth？
　　JOBU
　　Nothing matters.
　　EVELYN
　　No. Joy you don’t believe that.
　　JOBU
　　It feels nice doesn’t it？ If nothing matters， then all of the pain and guilt that you have for making nothing of your life， it goes away too. Sucked into a bagel.
　　Evelyn tries to resist， but her eyes begin to turn BLACK.
　　SLAM! A blur of skin and metal sends Jobu Tupaki smashing through the wall.
　　The RUMBLING stops and Evelyn snaps out of the spell.
　　Evelyn looks up to see Gong Gong skid to a stop in a motorized wheelchair tricked out with equipment from around the office. It’s Alpha Gong Gong!
　　EVELYN
　　爸!？ （Father ？!）
　　ALPHA GONG GONG
　　I am not your father. At least not the one you know. I am -
　　EVELYN
　　God， you too？
　　Alpha Gong Gong removes his shoe and uses it like smelling Salts to wake up Waymond-
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　What are you doing here sir？
　　ALPHA GONG GONG
　　We need to go.
　　All three hurry off down the hallway.
　　Jobu Tupaki stumbles out from the smashed hole in the wall， unfazed， if not a little annoyed. She lifts her head to tune into an unheard frequency. CLICK. She leaves.
　　
　　69 INT. IRS 9TH FLOOR EXECUTIVE OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
　　
　　Gong Gong slams the door shut.
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　Sir， I have this under control.
　　Evelyn tries to focus on their conversation， but her mind is all over the place. She looks drunk.
　　Alpha Gong Gong zips around the room barricading the door with furniture. They speak in hushed whispers.
　　ALPHA GONG GONG
　　She was nowhere near ready. Once again， you deliberately disobey me， and cause another mind to be compromised.
　　（gravely）
　　You know what we have to do now.
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　Sir! No. Please. She’s unlike anything we’ve seen. She could finally stop Jobu Tupaki.
　　EVELYN
　　You mean the monster that is in my daughter？! Why didn’t you tell me that from the beginning？
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　I was waiting for the right timeEVELYN
　　She’s using my beautiful Joy to kill people.
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　That’s why you will stop her.
　　Alpha Gong Gong scoffs at this idea.
　　EVELYN
　　But how？ Did you see her dance that man to death？! There is no way I’m the Evelyn you are looking for.
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　No. I see it so clearly.
　　EVELYN
　　See what？ I’m not good at anything.
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　Exactly.
　　（off of their looks）
　　I’ve seen thousands of Evelyns， but never a Evelyn like you. You have So many goals you never finished.
　　Dreams you never followed. You are living your worst you.
　　EVELYN
　　I can’t be the worst…… what about the hot dog one？
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　No. Everyone here agrees. This one’s worse. Can’t you see？ Every failure here， branched off into a Success for another Evelyn in another life. Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you， here…… you’re capable of anything because you’re so bad at everything.
　　Evelyn isn’t sure if she’s flattered or insulted. She grabs Alpha Waymond to steady herself.
　　ALPHA GONG GONG
　　What good is all of that power if her mind is already succumbing to the chaos.
　　There is a KNOCK on the door. They go quiet.
　　JOY （O.S.）
　　Hello？ Hello……
　　They all freeze up.
　　JOY （O.S.） （CONT’D）
　　Mom？ Dad？ What’s going on？
　　ALPHA GONG GONG
　　This is just one of her tricks.
　　Evelyn backs away from the door. Alpha Waymond confers with his team via bluetooth.
　　ALPHA WAYMOND
　　Sir. Our readings indicate it’s not Jobu. But if she’s not here， then where……
　　ALPHA GONG GONG
　　Oh no……
　　
　　70 ALPHAVERSE: INT. LAUNDRY RV CONTROL ROOM
　　
　　In the middle of the road is a lone figure- JOBU!. Alpha Gong Gong video conference’s in from another base.
　　ALPHA GONG GONG
　　Do not engage! Run! Run!
　　Alpha Waymond can tell he won’t have a choice. Alarms flash as the RV violently swerves.
　　
　　71 INT. IRS 9TH FLOOR EXECUTIVE OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER