编剧培训班
编剧培训班
剧本诊断
剧本诊断
字数:177587
豆瓣评分:9.7
阅读:154242
添加:2011/4/1
贡献:美丽人生
悬疑 电影剧本 名作鉴赏
肖申克的救赎(中英对照) (1994)
编剧:弗兰克·达拉邦特、斯蒂芬·金
  • 故事梗概
  • 作品正文
  
  ANDY 安迪
  I went to a few bars first. Later, I drove to his’s house to confront them. They weren‘t home……so I parked in the turnout……and waited.
  “我先去了几间酒吧,然后,我开车去他家找他们。他们不在,所以,我把车泊到岔道,等着。”
  
  D.A. 律师
  With what intention? “出于什么目的?”
  
  ANDY 安迪
  I‘m not sure. I was confused. Drunk. I think mostly I wanted to scare them.
  “说不清.我喝醉了,头晕晕的。我想,我只是想吓吓他们。”
  
  FADE TO BLACK: 3RD TITLE UP屏幕渐黑,第三次字幕升起
  
  D.A. 律师
  When they arrived, you went up to the house and murdered them?
  “他们回来后,你就走到屋子里杀了他们?”
  
  ANDY 安迪
  No. I was sobering up. I got back in the car and I drove home to sleep it off. Along the way, I stopped and threw my gun into the Royal River. I feel I‘ve been very clear on this point.
  “不。我渐渐冷静了下来。我走回车里,开车回家睡觉来忘掉这件事。路上,我停了下来,把枪扔到了皇家河里。这一点,我一直记得很清。”
  
  D.A. 律师
  Where I get hazy, is where the cleaning woman shows up the following morning and finds your wife in bed with her lover, riddled with .38 caliber bullets. Does that strike you as a fantastic coincidence, Mr.Dufresne, or is it just me?
  “使人感到困惑的是,第二天早上,清洁女工上班时,发现你的妻子和她的情夫,被多发点38口径的子弹打死在床上。你真得认为这是巧合,杜弗兰先生?还是只是我这么想?”
  
  ANDY 安迪
  (softly) Yes. It does.(轻轻地说)“是的,是巧合。”
  
  FADE TO BLACK! 4TH TITLE UP 屏幕渐黑,第四次字幕升起
  
  D.A. 律师
  You still maintain you threw your gun into the River before the murders took place. That‘s very convenient.
  “你仍然坚持你在命案发生前把你的枪扔到了河里?这样说很有利。”
  
  ANDY 安迪
  It‘s the truth. “这是事实。”
  
  D.A. 律师
  The police dragged that river for three days and nary a gun was found. So there could be no comparison made between your gun and the bullets taken from the bloodstained corpses of the victims. And that also is very convenient, isn‘t it, Mr. Dufresne?
  “警方在河里打捞了三天,并没有找到任何枪支。因此,无法鉴定从沾满鲜血的受害者尸体上取出的子弹,是否出自你的枪中,而这同样也很有利,是这样吧,杜弗兰先生?”
  
  ANDY 安迪
  (faint, bitter smile) Since I am innocent of this crime, sir, I find it decidedly inconvenient the gun was never found.
  (无力地苦笑了一下)“因为我是清白的,先生,我认为找不到枪很显然对我不利。”
  
  FADE TO BLACK: 5TH TITLE UP屏幕渐黑,第五次字幕升起
  
  6 INT -- COURTROOM -- DAY (1946) 6内景--法庭--白天
  The D.A. holds the jury spellbound with his closing summation:
  律师用他的最终结论诱导陪审团:
  
  D.A. 律师
  Ladies and gentlemen, you‘ve heard all the evidence, you know all the facts. We have the accused at the scene of the crime. We have foot prints. Tire tracks. Bullets scattered on the ground which bear his fingerprints. A broken bourbon bottle, likewise with fingerprints. Most of all, we have a beautiful young woman and her lover lying dead in each other‘s arms. They had sinned. But was their crime so great as to merit a death sentence?
  “女士们、先生们,你们都听到了,知道了所有的事实。我们知道被告在现场,有足迹、轮胎印,洒在地上带有他指纹的子弹,同样带有他指纹的打碎的威士忌瓶子。然而最重要的,我们知道了一位美女和她的情夫相拥而去。他们是有罪,但罪该致死吗?”
  
  He gestures to Andy sitting quietly with his ATTORNEY.
  他示意安迪和他的律师安静地坐着。
  
  D.A. 律师
  And while you think about that, think about this……
  “而且,你们在考虑的时候,再想一下这点……”
  
  He picks up a revolver, spins the cylinder before their eyes like a carnival barker spinning a wheel of fortune.
  他拿起左轮枪,像狂欢节上幸运转盘的叫卖者一样旋转轮盘。
  
  D.A. 律师
  A revolver holds six bullets, not eight. I submit to you this was not a hot-blooded crime of passion! That could at least be understood, if not condoned. No, this was revenge of a much more brutal and cold-blooded nature. Consider! Four bullets per victim! Not six shots fired, but eight! That means he fired the gun empty……and then stopped to reload so he could shoot each of them again! An extra bullet per lover……right in the head. “左轮装六颗子弹不是八颗。我提出这一点,是说明这不是一时之怒的冲动而犯下的罪行,如果是一时冲动的话,即使不能被宽恕,至少也可以被理解。不,这是极端残忍和冷血的复仇。考虑一下!每个受害者身中四颗子弹。不是开了六枪,而是八枪!这意味着他把子弹打空后,又装上子弹以再次射杀!一人一枪补射在头部。”
  
  (a few JURORS shiver)(几个陪审员忍不住一懔。)
  
  FADE TO BLACK: 6TH TITLE UP屏幕渐黑,第六次字幕升起
  
  INT -- JURY ROOM -- DAY (1946) 7 内景--陪审团室--白天
  CAMERA TRACKS down a long table, moving from one JUROR to the next. These decent, God-fearing Christians are chowing down on a nice fried chicken dinner provided them by the county, smacking greasy lips and gnawing cobbettes of corn.
  “镜头沿着长桌,从陪审员身上一个接一个的扫过。这些体面的、敬畏上帝的人正吃着法院提供的美味炸鸡餐,咂着油腻的嘴唇啃着可比特玉米。”
  
  VOICE (O.S.) 人声
  Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty…… “有罪,有罪,有罪,有罪……”
  
  We find the FOREMAN at the head of the table, sorting votes.
  首席陪审员在桌子一头整理投票。
  
  FADE TO BLACK: 7TH TITLE UP屏幕渐黑,第七次字幕升起
  
  8 INT -- COURTROOM -- DAY (1946) 8 内景--法庭--白天
  Andy stands before the dais. THE JUDGE peers down, framed by a carved frieze of blind Lady Justice on the wall.
  安迪站在审判台前,法官向下凝视着他,身后是嵌在墙上的正义女神像。
  
  JUDGE 法官
  You strike me as a particularly icy and remorseless man, Mr. Dufresne. It chills my blood just to look at you. By the power vested in me by the State of Maine, I hereby order you to serve two life sentences, back to back, one for each of your victims. So be it.
  “你的无情和冷血令我震惊,杜弗兰先生,只是看着你就使我不寒而僳。依据缅因州赋予我的权力,特此判处你两项终生监禁,依次为你的受害者执行,退庭。”
  
  He raps his gavel as we. 他敲下了木槌。
  
  CRASH TO BLACK: LAST TITLE UP. 屏幕全黑:最后的字幕升起
  
  9 AN IRON-BARRED DOOR 9一扇铁栏门
  slides open with an enormous CLANG. A stark room waits beyond. CAMERA PUSHES through. SEVEN HUMORLESS MEN sit side by side at a long table. An empty chair faces them. We are now in:
  随着一声巨响铁门打开,远端是一间屋子,镜头推近。七个人一本正经的在一张长长的桌子边挨着坐着,对面放着一把空椅。镜头推进房子:
  
  INT -- SHAWSHANK HEARINGS ROOM -- DAY (1947) 内景 -- 听讯室 -- 白天
  RED enters, removes his cap and waits by the chair.
  瑞德进入,拿下帽子,站在椅子边。
  
  MAN #1男1
  Sit.“坐下。”
  
  Red sits, tries not to slouch. The chair is uncomfortable.
  椅子很不舒适,瑞德努力摆正坐姿。
  
  MAN #2男2
  We see by your file you‘ve served twenty years of a life sentence.
  “我们从档案上看到你已服了二十年的终生监禁?”
  
  RED瑞德
  Yes,sir. “是的,先生。”
  
  MAN #3男3
  You feel you‘ve been rehabilitated? “你觉得你已经悔过了吗?”
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共有 43 个评论
梅雪飞  湖北武汉 2024/12/8 13:42:54 
英文太到位了
横眉冷退  四川凉山州 2022/4/13 13:07:51 
如果我是诺顿,我就让囚犯们轮换牢房,一年一换,完全随机。那么,你懂的,自由就被关住了,关得死死的。
GintY  广东东莞 2022/1/16 16:43:05 
挺经典的,不过有点get不到一个正能量的主旨,感觉负面气息挺严重的
前行  广东深圳 2022/1/2 13:59:52 
大赞。这样写故事的方式值得学习,太棒了。一,时间(时空)处理上,写得妙。两张明星画相海报把时间跨度交代得清清楚楚。二,其实编剧最怕的是在写剧本时,过多用独白。原因是怕过多解释剧情和情节,让故事没有悬念,没看头。但这个故事处理得很巧妙。独白并没有向前解释剧情,使故事永远留下悬念。三是交叉剪辑手法。让故事越来越有看头,充满悬念。
前行  广东深圳 2021/12/30 15:00:41 
太好了,电影拉片剧本。其实电影的对白不需要什么华丽的语言,就是平常人所说的话,脱口而出。通俗易懂。还有是镜头语言表达。如果是要按真正的语言表达标准来要求,有的语句甚至可以说是病句,按正规的主谓宾表达方式要求,如果真正那样做,有不少病句,不通顺的地方出现。但并不影响对一个电影剧本的完美表达。还有一个是,有的时候,对方要求编剧写剧本时,有字数要求,规定三万字以内之类的。显然是忽略了电影的表达方式。只要它是一个好故事,表达方式能深入电影中的每一个细节,这就是好剧本。字数多点又如何。
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