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编剧培训班
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电影编剧实战班22 天后开课 去看看
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剧本诊断
专治不会写剧本!
电影编剧实战班22 天后开课 去看看
字数:177587
豆瓣评分:9.7
阅读:154409
添加:2011/4/1
贡献:美丽人生
悬疑 电影剧本 名作鉴赏
肖申克的救赎(中英对照) (1994)
编剧:弗兰克·达拉邦特、斯蒂芬·金
  • 故事梗概
  • 作品正文
  
  RED 瑞德
  Guess the world moved on. “我想是世道不一样了。”
  
  285 INT -- FOODWAY -- DAY 285 内景--福德威--白天
  Bagging groceries. CHILDREN underfoot. One points a toy gun at Red, pumping the trigger. Red focuses on the gun, listening to it CLICKETY-CLACK. Sparky wheel grinding.
  瑞德在打包,孩子们碍手碍脚。一个孩子拿着玩具枪指着瑞德,扣动扳机。瑞德瞪着枪,听着它咔嗒做响,枪中的转轮磨擦着放出火花。
  
  The kids get swept off by MOM. Red starts bagging the next customer. SLOW PUSH IN on Red. Surrounded by MOTION and NOISE. Feeling like the eye of a hurricane. People everywhere, whipping around him like a gale. Strange. Loud. Dizzying. It gets distorted and weird, slow and thick, pressing in on him from all sides. The noise level intensifies. The hollering of children deepens and distends into LOW EERIE HOWLS.
  孩子们被妈妈拉走,瑞德开始给下一位顾客打包。镜头慢慢的推近,瑞德被四周的喧闹包围,犹如处在飓风中心。到处都是人,在他身边游走,如同旋风。陌生、嘈杂、令人眩晕,这一切开始扭曲、失真,从四周缓慢、沉重地向他挤压过来。噪音加大,孩子们的叫喊声更为强烈,一直扩展到低沉、可怕的嚎叫。
  
  He‘s in the grip of a major anxiety attack. Tries to shake himself out of it. Can‘t. Fumbles the final items into the bag. Walks away. Trying not to panic. Trying not to run. He makes his way through the store. Blinking sweat. He bumps into a lady‘s cart, mumbles an apology, keeps going. Breaks into a trot. Down the aisle, cut to the left, through the door into the back rooms, faster and faster, running now, slamming through a door marked "Employees Only" into --
  焦虑的侵袭将他紧紧裹住,他试图摆脱,但做不到。他把最后一件东西笨拙着塞入袋内,转身走开,边走边努力抑制住奔跑的冲动。他流着虚汗,走过超市,不小心碰到一位女士的推车,含糊着道了歉,继续走,接着小跑起来,沿着通道,左转,穿过门进入内室,越来越快,已经是在跑步了,最后,撞开一扇写着“非职员勿入”的门,跑了进去。
  
  286 INT -- EMPLOYEE RESTROOM -- DAY 286 内景--洗手间--白天
  -- where he slams the door and leans heavily against it, shutting everything out, breathing heavily. Alone now.
  他关上门,然后重重的靠在门上,把一切都屏敝在外面。他大口的喘着气,终于独自一人了。
  
  He goes to the sink, splashes his face, tries to calm down. He can still hear them out there. They won‘t go away. He glances around the restroom. Small. Not small enough.
  他走到水槽边,撩水洗脸,试图冷静。他还能听到外面的声音,那些人并没有走远。他环顾四周,空间不大,但还不够。
  
  He enters a stall. Locks the door. Puts the toilet lid down and sits on the john. Better. He can actually reach out and touch the walls now. They‘re close. Safe. Almost small enough. He draws his feet up so he can‘t be seen if somebody walks in. He‘ll just sit here for a while. Until he calms down.
  他进入一个隔间,锁上门。把盖上马桶的盖子,坐下来。这样好些了,实际上他都可以碰到周围的挡板,离得如此之近,这很安全,空间差不多够小了。他抬起双脚,这样即使有人进来也不会看到他,他就是想在这儿坐一会,直到情绪稳定。
  
  287 EXT -- STREET -- DUSK 287 外景--大街--黄昏
  Red is walking home. 瑞德走在回家的路上。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德
  There is a harsh truth to face. No way I‘m gonna make it on the outside.
  “我面临着一个严厉的现实:在外面,我没有办法恢复正常。”
  
  He pauses at a pawnshop window. An array of handguns.
  他停在了一家当铺的窗户前,里面放着一排手枪。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德
  All I do anymore is think of ways to break my parole.
  “现在我一心只想中断我的假释。”
  
  The SHOPKEEPER appears at the glass, locking the door and flipping the sign: CLOSED.
  店主出现在窗户前,锁上店门,翻转标牌:“打烊”。
  
  288 INT -- RED‘S ROOM -- NIGHT 288 内景--瑞德的房间--夜晚
  Red lies smoking in bed. Unable to sleep.
  瑞德躺在床上抽烟,无法入睡。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back
  where things make sense. Where I won‘t have to be afraid all the time.
  “生活在恐惧中,真可怕。布鲁克斯.哈特兰早就知道,他太明白这一点了。我想在只想回去,回到有意义的地方,回到我永远不必担心受怕的地方。”
  
  He glances up at the ceiling beam. "Brooks Hatlen was here."
  他仰起目光看着房梁:“布鲁克斯.哈特兰曾经到此。”
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Only one thing stops me. A promise I made to Andy.
  “只有一件事情阻止了我,我承诺给安迪的诺言。”
  
  289 EXT -- COUNTRY ROAD -- MORNING 289 外景--乡村公路--早晨
  A pickup truck rattles up the road trailing dust and pulls to a stop. Red hops off the back, waves his thanks. The truck drives on. Red starts walking. PAN TO a roadside sign: BUXTON.
  一辆卡车拖着尾尘停在路上,瑞德从车后面跳下来,挥手致谢。卡车开走,瑞德开始步行。镜头摇摄到路旁的指示牌:巴克斯顿。
  
  290 EXT -- MAINE COUNTRYSIDE -- DAY 290 外景--缅因州边境--白天
  High white clouds in a blazing blue sky. The trees fiery with autumn color. Red walks the fields and back-roads, cheap compass in hand. Looking for a certain hayfield.
  晴朗的蓝天上高高地悬着几朵白云,树木充满了秋天的颜色。瑞德手里拿着廉价的指南针,走在田间和偏僻的小路上,找寻那个干草场。
  
  291 EXT -- COUNTRYSIDE -- DAY 291 外景--乡间--白天
  Walking. Searching. The day turning late. Red finds himself staring at a distant field. There‘s a long rock wall, like something out o f a Robert Frost poem. Big oak tree. Red checks his compass. North end. He crosses a dirt road into the field. 边走边找,天色渐晚。这时,瑞德发现了远处的一片田地,有着一堵长长的石墙,和一棵大橡树,有些像罗伯特.费洛斯特诗中所写的情景。瑞德看看指南针,正北。他穿过一条污浊的公路走入那片场地。
  
  292 EXT -- HAYFIELD -- DAY 292 外景--干草场
  Red walks the long rock wall, nearing the tree. A squirrel scolds him from a low branch, scurries up higher. Red studies the base of the wall. Nothing unusual here. Just a bunch of rocks set in stone. He sighs. Fool‘s errand. Turns to go.
  瑞德沿着石墙,走到橡树前,一只松鼠嘶叫着跑到高处。瑞德仔细观察墙基,并无异常,除了堆在石头中的一些岩石。徒劳无获,他叹口气,转身就走。
  
  Something catches his eye. He walks back, squats, peering closer. Wets a fingertip and rubs a stone. A layer of dust comes off. Volcanic glass. Gleaming black. He tries to get the rock out, anticipation growing. It won‘t come; it‘s too smooth. He pulls a pocketknife and levers the rock free. It tumbles at his feet, leaving a ragged hole.
  这时,有个东西引起了他的注意。他走回来蹲下,靠近观察,并弄湿手指在一块岩石上擦拭。一层尘土被擦掉,是火山玻璃,闪着黑光。希望变大,他试图把它取出来,但太滑。他掏出把折刀,把火山玻璃撬起。它滚到脚下,留出一个凹凸不平的洞。
  
  Red leans down and solves the mystery at last, staring at the object buried under the rock. Stunned. It‘s an envelope wrapped in plastic. Written on it is a single word: "Red."
  (Red leans down and solves the mystery at last,)看着埋在火山石下的东西,惊呆了。是一个包在塑料布里的信封,上而写着一个单词:“瑞德”。
  
  Red pulls the envelope out and rises. He just stares at it for a while, almost afraid to open it. But open it he does. Inside is a smaller envelope and a letter. Red begins to read:
  瑞德取出信封拿在手里看着,一时间竟不敢打开。最终他打开信封,里面又是一个小信封和一封信,瑞德开始看信:
  
  ANDY (V.O.) 安迪(旁白)
  Dear Red. If you‘re reading this, you‘ve gotten out. And if you‘ve come this far, maybe you‘re willing to come a little further. You remember the name of the town, don‘t you? I could use a good man to help me get my project on wheels. I‘ll keep an eye out for you and the chessboard ready. (beat) Remember, Red. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this letter finds you, and finds you well. Your friend. Andy.
  “亲爱的瑞德,如果你看到这些字,你就已经出来了。而且,你既然已经走了这么远,也不再乎多走一点吧。还记得那个小镇的名字吗?我会用一个称职的人帮我实施我的计划,盼着你的到来,棋盘已备好,记住,瑞德。希望是件好的事情,也许是最好的。而且,美好永不消失。我希望这封信能找到你,你也安然无恙。你的朋友,安迪。”
  
  By now, tears are spilling silently down Red‘s cheeks. He opens the other envelope and fans out a stack of new fifty- dollar bills. Twenty of them. A thousand dollars.
  此刻,泪水涌出顺着瑞德的脸庞静静地滑下。他打开小信封,散开一叠崭新的五十元美钞,二张,一千美元。
  
  293 INT -- RED‘S ROOM -- DAY (1967) 293 内景--瑞德的房间--白天
  Red is dressed in his suit. He finishes knotting his tie, puts his hat on. His bag is by the door. He takes one last look around. Only one thing left to do. He pulls a wooden chair to the center of the room and gazes up at the ceiling beam.
  瑞德身穿西装,打好领带,戴上帽子,他的提箱就在门口。瑞德最后看了一眼四周,只剩下一件事情要做了。他把椅子拖到房子中间,抬头打量房梁。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德
  Get busy living or get busy dying. That is goddamn right.
  “要么忙着活,要么忙着死,说得真他妈的对!”
  
  He steps up on the chair. It wobbles under his weight.
  他踏上椅子,椅子在他的体重下颤动起来。
  
  294 INT -- BREWSTER -- RED‘S DOOR -- DAY (1967) 294 内景--布鲁斯特旅舍--白天
  The door opens. Red exits with his bag and heads down the stairs, leaving the door open. CAMERA PUSHES through, BOOMING UP to the ceiling beam which reads: "Brooks Hatlen was here." A new message has been carved alongside the old: "So was Red."
  门开了,瑞德拎着提箱出来向楼下走去。门没有关,镜头推进,快速上移到刻着“布鲁克斯.哈特兰曾经到此。”的房梁,上面新刻着一行字:“瑞德也来过。”
  
  295 INT -- GREYHOUND BUS STATION -- DAY (1967) 295 内景--长途汽车站--白天
  TRACKING SHOT reveals a long line of people at the counter.
  镜头掠过,显示出售票台前长长的队伍。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  For the second time in my life, I am guilty of committing a crime.
  “这是我有生以来第二次,感到自己在犯罪。”
  
  CAMERA brings us to Red, next in line, bag by his feet.
  镜头照向瑞德,队伍中的下一个,提箱放在脚边。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Parole violation. I doubt they‘ll toss up any roadblocks for that. Not for an old crook like me. (steps up) McNary, Texas?
  “违反假释。但我怀疑他们会因此而设路障,来抓捕我这把年级的老贼。(走到售票口)麦克纳瑞,德克萨斯。”
  
  296 EXT -- TRAVELING SHOT -- DAY (1967) 296 外景--移动拍摄--白天
  A gorgeous New England landscape whizzes by, fields and trees a blur of motion. ANGLE SHIFTS to reveal a Greyhound SceniCruiser barreling up the road, pulling abreast of us. CAMERA TRAVELS from window to window, passing faces. We finally come to Red gazing out at the passing landscape.
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共有 43 个评论
梅雪飞  湖北武汉 2024/12/8 13:42:54 
英文太到位了
横眉冷退  四川凉山州 2022/4/13 13:07:51 
如果我是诺顿,我就让囚犯们轮换牢房,一年一换,完全随机。那么,你懂的,自由就被关住了,关得死死的。
GintY  广东东莞 2022/1/16 16:43:05 
挺经典的,不过有点get不到一个正能量的主旨,感觉负面气息挺严重的
前行  广东深圳 2022/1/2 13:59:52 
大赞。这样写故事的方式值得学习,太棒了。一,时间(时空)处理上,写得妙。两张明星画相海报把时间跨度交代得清清楚楚。二,其实编剧最怕的是在写剧本时,过多用独白。原因是怕过多解释剧情和情节,让故事没有悬念,没看头。但这个故事处理得很巧妙。独白并没有向前解释剧情,使故事永远留下悬念。三是交叉剪辑手法。让故事越来越有看头,充满悬念。
前行  广东深圳 2021/12/30 15:00:41 
太好了,电影拉片剧本。其实电影的对白不需要什么华丽的语言,就是平常人所说的话,脱口而出。通俗易懂。还有是镜头语言表达。如果是要按真正的语言表达标准来要求,有的语句甚至可以说是病句,按正规的主谓宾表达方式要求,如果真正那样做,有不少病句,不通顺的地方出现。但并不影响对一个电影剧本的完美表达。还有一个是,有的时候,对方要求编剧写剧本时,有字数要求,规定三万字以内之类的。显然是忽略了电影的表达方式。只要它是一个好故事,表达方式能深入电影中的每一个细节,这就是好剧本。字数多点又如何。
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