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电影编剧实战班22 天后开课 去看看
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专治不会写剧本!
电影编剧实战班22 天后开课 去看看
字数:177587
豆瓣评分:9.7
阅读:154401
添加:2011/4/1
贡献:美丽人生
悬疑 电影剧本 名作鉴赏
肖申克的救赎(中英对照) (1994)
编剧:弗兰克·达拉邦特、斯蒂芬·金
  • 故事梗概
  • 作品正文
  ……so do the bullets. Norton is riveted to the door. For every key, he loads another bullet. Methodical and grim. He gets the final bullet in just as the right key slams home. The door bursts open. Men muscle in. Somebody SHOUTS. Troopers dive in all directions as Norton raises the gun -- -- and jams it under his chin. His head snaps back as the wall goes red. His swivel chair does a slow half-turn and creaks to a final stop. Troopers rise slowly, gazing in horror.
  子弹也是一颗又一颗。诺顿盯着门口,每试一把钥匙,他就装上一颗子弹,有条不紊又异常阴沉。他推入最后一颗子弹,钥匙也正好把门打开。门被冲开,人们闯进来。有人大喊,诺顿将手枪抬起,州警们立即散在各个方向----诺顿把枪抵住下颚,头猛得一抬,鲜血溅红了墙壁。他的转椅缓缓地转了半圈,嘎吱一声停了下来。州警们慢慢地起身,害怕地望着这一幕。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  I like to think the last thing that went through his head……other than that bullet……was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.
  “我总觉得在那颗子弹穿过诺顿脑袋的时候,他还在想,安迪怎么就打垮了他。”
  
  PUSH SLOWLY to the wall to reveal Mrs. Norton‘s framed sampler trickling blood and brains……and we get our final Bible lesson for today: "HIS JUDGMENT COMETH AND THAT RIGHT SOON."
  镜头缓慢推向墙壁,诺顿夫人的刺绣品滴淌着鲜血和脑浆……显示出影片的最后一条圣经之语:“主的审判马上就会到来。”
  
  265 EXT -- PRISON YARD -- DAY (1966) 265 外景--监狱操场--白天
  Mail call. Red hears his name. They pass him a postcard.
  邮件到了,瑞德听到叫他的名字,人们递给他一张名信片。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Not long after the warden deprived us of his company, I got a postcard in the mail. It was blank. But the postmark said, "McNary, Texas."
  “监狱长倒台不久,我收到了一张明信片。上面空空的,邮戳上印着:“麦克纳瑞,德克萨斯”。
  
  266 INT -- LIBRARY -- DAY (1966) 266 内景--图书馆--白天
  Red sits with an atlas, tracing his finger down the page.
  瑞德坐着拿着本地图册,用手指着看。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  McNary. Right on the border. That‘s where Andy crossed. (shuts the book) When I picture him heading south in his own car with the top town, it makes me laugh all over again……
  “麦克纳瑞,就在边境,那就是安迪过境的地方。(合住了地图册)每当我想到他开着自己的车子穿过这个美国最南端的小镇,就会让我再次开怀不已……”
  
  267 EXT -- MEXICO -- HIGHWAY -- DAY (1966) 267 外景--墨西哥--高速公路--白天(1996)
  A red convertible rips along with Andy at the wheel, cigar jutting from his grin, warm wind fluttering his tie.
  安迪开着一辆红色的敞蓬车疾驰在路上,嘴上叨着雪茄,暖风吹拂着他的领带。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Andy Dufresne, who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side. Andy Dufresne, headed for the Pacific.
  “安迪.杜弗兰,爬过污垢的河流,在彼岸洗净重生,奔向海洋。”
  
  268 INT -- MESS HALL -- DAY (1966) 268 内景--监狱餐厅--白天
  Heywood is regaling the table with some anecdote about Andy.
  海沃德在饭桌旁起劲地讲着安迪的轶事。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Those of us who knew him best talk about him often. I swear, the stuff he pulled. It always makes us laugh.
  “我们这些熟悉他的人,经常的谈论他。无疑,有关他的话题,总会引起我们笑声。”
  
  A wild burst of laughter. PUSH IN on Red. Feeling melancholy.
  哄堂大笑,镜头推向瑞德,表情消沉。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren‘t meant to be caged, that‘s all. Their feathers are just too bright……
  “安迪的离去,有时会让我难过。我必须承认有些鸟是关不住的,关不住。它们的羽毛是如此的鲜亮……”
  
  269 EXT -- FIELDS -- LATE DAY (1966) 269 外景--田野--傍晚
  Convicts hoe the fields. Guards patrol on horseback. 犯人们在锄草,守卫骑在马背上巡逻。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  ……and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice……but still, the place you live is that much more drab and empty that they‘re gone.
  “当它们飞走时,因摆脱了罪恶,你会替它们高兴。但是,你仍然还得生活在这个枯燥、乏味的地方。”
  
  A DISTANT RUMBLE OF THUNDER. Red pauses, gazes off. Storm clouds coming in, backlit by the sun. A light drizzle begins.
  远处雷声隆隆,瑞德停下手中的话,望向天空。乱云逼近,阳光从乌云背后透过来,小雨开始蒙蒙。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  I guess I just miss my friend. “我想我失去了朋友。”
  
  270 INT -- PRISON CELL -- NIGHT (1966) 270 内景--牢房--夜晚
  Red is sleeping. He wakes with a start. 瑞德从梦中惊醒。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  But there are times I curse him for the dreams he left behind……
  “有时我常咒骂他给我留下来的梦境……”
  
  He senses a presence, looks over his shoulder. There‘s a Rita Hayworth poster on his wall. He gets out of bed. Rita just keeps smiling, inscrutable. As Red watches, a brilliant round glow builds behind the poster, shining from the tunnel. The poster rips free, charred to ash in the blink of an eye as a shaft of holy white light stabs into the cell. Sunlight. Red staggers back against the glare.
  瑞德感到有人在盯着他,墙上是丽塔.海沃斯的海报。他起身下床,丽塔保持着她那高深莫测的微笑。瑞德看着那海报,一束明亮的光柱自海报后面,从隧道中亮起。圣洁的光束射进牢房,将掀起的海报瞬间燃成灰烬。是阳光,瑞德摇晃着被眩目的光芒逼退。
  
  A whirlwind kicks up, whipping everything into the air. The hole in the wall is like a giant vacuum cleaner -- papers, book, toiletries, bedding -- if it ain‘t nailed down, it gets sucked down the hole toward the light. Red fights it, but the suction drags him closer and closer……
  一阵旋风刮来,将所有的东西卷到空中。墙上的隧道像一个巨大的真空吸尘器--纸张、书本、洗漱品、被褥--只要是没被固定的东西,全都被那束光芒吸进洞内。瑞德挣扎着,但那股吸力拖着他越来越近……
  
  271 RED‘S POV 271 瑞德的视线
  ……and CAMERA rockets into the hole, getting sucked down an endless tunnel at impossible speed, the ROAR of air mixing with his drawn-out SCREAM, closer and closer to the light……
  镜头冲进隧道,以不可思议的速度在无尽头的隧道中前行着,咆哮的气流混合着他拉长的尖叫,离那束光芒越来越近……
  
  ……and erupting out the other side into total silence and a beautiful white beach. The Pacific Ocean before us. Enormous. Mind-blowing. Beautiful beyond description. All we hear now are the gentle sound of waves.
  镜头从隧道的另一端冲出,来到了一个格外沉静和美丽的白色沙滩。太平洋就在眼前,无边无际,如梦似幻,美丽的无法形容,轻柔的海浪声阵阵传来。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  ……dreams where I am lost in a warm place with no memory.
  “这梦境,让我迷失在一个完全陌生的温磬之地。”
  
  A lone figure stands at water‘s edge. CAMERA KEEPS MOVING, coming up behind him and TRACKING AROUND to reveal -- Red.
  一个孤独的背影立在水边,镜头继续移动,直至背影的后面,然后开始转动,显现出瑞德。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  An ocean so big it strikes me dumb. Waves so quiet they strike me deaf. Sunshine so bright it strikes me blind. It is a place that is blue beyond reason. Bluer than can possibly exist. Bluer than my mind can possibly grasp.
  “巨大的海洋令我震惊无语,海浪的沉静又使我听不到声音,阳光如此耀眼,让我看不到任何东西。这是一个蓝得异乎寻常的地方,蓝过于世上的任何事物,蓝过于我头脑中的想像。”
  
  272 AERIAL SHOT 272 高空镜头
  Nothing for a million miles but beach, sky, and water. Red is a tiny speck at water‘s edge. Just another grain of sand.
  无边无际的空间,没有别的,只有海岸、天空、海水。瑞德就是水边的一个小点,如同一粒沙子。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  I am terrified. There is no way home. “我很害怕,找不到路回家。”
  
  273 INT -- RED‘S CELL -- NIGHT (1966) 273 内景--瑞德的号房--夜晚
  Red wakes from the nightmare. He gets out of bed. Moves to the barred window of his cell. Peers up at the stars.
  瑞德从恶梦中醒来,他起身下床,走到装着栅栏的窗户边,凝视着星空。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Andy. I know you‘re in that place. Look at the stars for me just after sunset. Touch the sand……wade in the water……and feel free.
  “安迪,我知道你在那儿。落日看星,抚摸沙滩,漫步水中,感受自由。”
  
  FADE TO BLACK 屏幕渐变至全黑
  
  274 AN IRON-BARRED DOOR 274 一记扇铁栏门
  slides open with an enormous CLANG. A stark room beyond. CAMERA PUSHES through. SIX MEN AND ONE WOMAN sit at a long table. An empty chair faces them. We are again in:
  随着一声巨响铁门打开,远端是一间空荡的屋子,镜头推近。六个男人和一个女人坐在一张长长的桌子前,对面放着一把空椅。镜头再次推进房子。
  
  INT -- SHAWSHANK HEARINGS ROOM -- DAY (1967) 内景--听讯室--白天(1967)
  Red enters, sits. 20 years older than when we first saw him.
  瑞德进来,坐下。第一次出现此镜头时已以二十年了。
  
  MAN #1 男1
  Your file says you‘ve served forty years of a life sentence. You feel you‘ve been rehabilitated?
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共有 43 个评论
梅雪飞  湖北武汉 2024/12/8 13:42:54 
英文太到位了
横眉冷退  四川凉山州 2022/4/13 13:07:51 
如果我是诺顿,我就让囚犯们轮换牢房,一年一换,完全随机。那么,你懂的,自由就被关住了,关得死死的。
GintY  广东东莞 2022/1/16 16:43:05 
挺经典的,不过有点get不到一个正能量的主旨,感觉负面气息挺严重的
前行  广东深圳 2022/1/2 13:59:52 
大赞。这样写故事的方式值得学习,太棒了。一,时间(时空)处理上,写得妙。两张明星画相海报把时间跨度交代得清清楚楚。二,其实编剧最怕的是在写剧本时,过多用独白。原因是怕过多解释剧情和情节,让故事没有悬念,没看头。但这个故事处理得很巧妙。独白并没有向前解释剧情,使故事永远留下悬念。三是交叉剪辑手法。让故事越来越有看头,充满悬念。
前行  广东深圳 2021/12/30 15:00:41 
太好了,电影拉片剧本。其实电影的对白不需要什么华丽的语言,就是平常人所说的话,脱口而出。通俗易懂。还有是镜头语言表达。如果是要按真正的语言表达标准来要求,有的语句甚至可以说是病句,按正规的主谓宾表达方式要求,如果真正那样做,有不少病句,不通顺的地方出现。但并不影响对一个电影剧本的完美表达。还有一个是,有的时候,对方要求编剧写剧本时,有字数要求,规定三万字以内之类的。显然是忽略了电影的表达方式。只要它是一个好故事,表达方式能深入电影中的每一个细节,这就是好剧本。字数多点又如何。
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