专治不会写剧本!
电影编剧实战班25 天后开课 去看看
字数:177335
豆瓣评分:9.7
阅读:158091
添加:2011/4/1
贡献:美丽人生
悬疑 电影剧本 名作鉴赏
肖申克的救赎(中英对照) (1994)
编剧:弗兰克·达拉邦特、斯蒂芬·金
  • 故事梗概
  • 作品正文
  WILEY韦利
  Good for you, Andy. “你真行,安迪!”
  
  ANDY安迪
  Only took six years. (beat)(q12) From now on, I send two letters a week instead of one.
  “只用了六年。从现在起,我每周不是一封而要寄二封了。”
  
  WILEY韦利
  (laughs, shakes his head) (大笑,摇摇头)
  I believe you‘re crazy enough. You better get this stuff downstairs like the Captain said. I‘m gonna go pinch a loaf. When I get back, this is all gone, right?
  “我看你是疯够了,你最好听队长的话把这些东西弄到楼下去。我现在出去偷个闲,回来时,所有的都要收拾完,好吗?”
  
  Andy nods. Wiley disappears into the toilet, Jughead Comix in hand. Alone now, Andy starts going through the boxes like a starving man exploring packages of food. He doesn‘t know where
  to turn first. He gets giddy, ripping boxes open and pulling out books, touching them, smelling them.
  安迪点头答应。韦利,手里拿着本色情漫画走进洗手间。安迪现在独自一人,他开始检查这些盒子,像是饥饿的人在浏览食品袋,不知道该先开哪一个。他手忙脚乱的撕开包裹取出书本,摸着,闻着。
  
  He rips open another box. This one contains an old phonograph player, industrial gray and green, the words "Portland Public School District" stenciled on the side. The box also contains stacks and stacks of used record albums.
  他撕开又一个包裹,里面有一台旧留声机,银绿相间,“波特兰公立校区”的字样印在一边,盒子里还有一叠叠的旧唱片。
  
  Andy reverently slips a stack from the box and starts flipping through them. Used Nat King Coles, Bing Crosbys, etc. He comes across a certain album -- Mozart‘s "Le Nozze de Figaro." He pulls it from the stack, gazing upon it as a man transfixed. It is a thing of beauty. It is the Grail.
  安迪虔诚地解开一叠唱片,开始逐张审视。.耐特.金、冰.克罗斯比等等。他看到了一张唱片—莫扎特的’费加洛婚礼’。他抽出来,看呆了。它真美丽,有如圣盘!
  
  130 INT -- BATHROOM -- DAY (1955) 130内景—洗手间—白天
  Wiley sits in one of the stalls, Jughead comic on his knees.
  韦利坐在马桶上,膝盖上放着色情漫画。
  
  131 INT -- GUARD STATION/OUTER OFFICE -- DAY 内景--播音室/外间办公室—白天
  Andy wrestles the phonograph player onto the guards‘ desk, sweeping things onto the floor in his haste. He plugs the machine in. A red light warms up. The platter starts spinning.
  安迪把唱机搬到桌子上,胡乱地把桌上的东西拔拉到地上。他插上插销,唱机上的红灯亮了起来,托盘开始旋转。
  
  He slides the Mozart album from its sleeve, lays it on the platter, and lowers the tone arm to his favorite cut. The needle HISSES in the groove……and the MUSIC begins, lilting and gorgeous. Andy sinks into Wiley‘s chair, overcome by its beauty. It is "," a duet sung by Susanna and the Contessa.
  他从封套中取出唱片,放在托盘上,把唱臂放到他最喜欢的一节上,唱针在唱片的凹槽上发出’嘶嘶’声,音乐响起,明快、宜人。安迪躺在韦利的椅子上,为音乐的美丽而沉醉。’Deutino: Che soave zeffiretto’苏珊娜和孔德萨的二重唱。
  
  132 INT -- BATHROOM -- DAY (1955) 132内景—洗手间—白天
  Wiley pauses reading, puzzled. He thinks he hears music.
  韦利停止看书,疑惑地,他觉得听到了音乐声。
  
  WILEY韦利
  Andy? You hear that? “安迪,你听到了吗?”
  
  133 INT -- GUARD STATION/OUTER OFFICE -- DAY (1955) 133
  Andy shoots a look at the bathroom……and smiles. Go for broke. He lunges to his feet and barricades the front door, then the bathroom. He returns to the desk and positions the P.A. microphone. He works up his courage, then flicks all the toggles to "on." A SQUEAL OF FEEDBACK echoes briefly……
  安迪看看洗手间,笑了笑。他快速起身,想尽办法锁住前门,然后是洗手间的门。他返回桌子,摆好扩音器的麦克,鼓起勇气,把所有的开关打到“开”的位置,扩音器发出大声的回响。
  
  134 INT/EXT -- VARIOUS P.A. SPEAKERS -- DAY (1955) 134内/外景—各个扬声器—白天
  ……and the Mozart is suddenly broadcast all over the prison.
  于是莫扎特的音乐突然就遍布了监狱的各个角落。
  
  135 INT -- BATHROOM -- DAY (1955) 135内景—洗手间—白天
  Wiley lunges to his feet, pants tangling around his ankles. 韦利猛得站起来,裤子缠在脚踝处。
  
  136 INT/EXT -- SHAWSHANK PRISON -- VARIOUS LOCATIONS -- DAY (1955) 136
  内/外景—肖申克监狱—白天
  Cons all over the prison stop whatever they‘re doing, freezing in mid-step to listen, gazing up at the speakers.
  整个监狱的犯人们全部停下来,愣在那儿听着,看着扬声器。
  
  137 The stamping machines in the plate shop are shut down…… 137
  车牌厂的冲压机关掉了……
  138 The laundry line goes silent, grinding to a halt…… 138
  洗衣房静了下来,机器慢慢的停了下来……
  139 The wood shop machines are turned off, buzzing to a stop…… 139
  木材厂的机器也被关掉,嗡嗡地停止运转……
  140 The motor pool……the kitchen……the loading dock……the exercise thru yard……the numbing routine of prison life itself……all grinds thru 140
  停车场……厨房……装卸处……操场……麻木的日常监狱生活本身……所有的都慢慢的停了下来……
  143 to a stuttering halt. Nobody moves, nobody speaks. Everybody just stands in place, listening to the MUSIC, hypnotized. 143
  一点一点的停了下来。没人动,没人说话。所有的人只是站在那儿,倾听着音乐,如被催眠。
  
  144 INT -- GUARD STATION -- DAY (1955) 144内景—播音室—白天
  Andy is reclined in the chair, transported, arms fluidly conducting the music. Ecstasy and rapture. Shawshank no longer exists. It has been banished from the mind of men.
  安迪斜躺在椅子上,如痴如醉,双臂挥动着指挥着音乐,全神贯注、兴高采烈。肖申克已不存在,它被人们从内心里忘却。
  
  145 EXT -- EXERCISE YARD -- DAY (1955) 145 外景—操场—白天
  CAMERA TRACKS along groups of men, all riveted. 镜头掠过人群,所有的人都怔在那儿。
  
  RED (V.O.)瑞德(旁白)
  I have no idea to this day what them two Italian ladies were singin‘ about. Truth is, I don‘t want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I like to think they were singin‘ about something so beautiful it can‘t be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it.
  “我可听不懂这一天那两个意大利女人唱得什么,说实话,也不想知道,有些事情不说出来更好。我是想说她们唱得太好了,无法用语言来形容,好得让你心痛。”
  
  CAMERA brings us to Red. 镜头拉回瑞德。
  
  RED (V.O.)瑞德(旁白)
  I tell you, those voices soared. Higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away……and for the briefest of moments -- every last man at Shawshank felt free.
  “告诉你们,那声音激扬。比这个灰色地方里的任何人敢于梦想的都要遥远、高昂。就像鸟儿振翅飞进我们枯燥的牢笼将围墙释放……就在那一刻—肖申克的每一个人都感到了自由。”
  
  146 INT -- PRISON CORRIDOR -- DAY (1955) 146内景—走廊—白天
  FAST DOLLY with Norton striding up the hallway with Hadley.
  镜头急速的跟着大步走来的诺顿和哈雷。
  
  RED (V.O.)瑞德(旁白)
  It pissed the warden off something terrible. “这声音十分地激怒了监狱长。”
  
  INT -- GUARD STATION/OUTER OFFICE -- DAY (1955) 内景--播音室/外间办公室—白天
  Norton and Hadley break the door in. Andy looks up with a sublime smile. We hear Wiley POUNDING on the bathroom door:
  诺顿和哈雷破门而入,安迪抬起头,面带庄严的微笑。韦利正在使劲地敲击洗手间的门。
  
  WILEY (O.S.)韦利
  LET ME OUUUUT! “让我出……去!”
  
  148 INT -- SOLITARY WING -- DAY (1955) 148内景—禁闭室大门—白天
  LOW ANGLE SLOW PUSH IN on the massive, rust-streaked steel door. God, this is a terrible place to be.
  低镜头缓慢地推进那扇沉重的、锈迹斑斑的铁门。上帝!这真是个可怕的地方。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Andy got two weeks in the hole for that little stunt.
  “安迪因为他那小小的惊人之举,禁闭两周。”
  
  149 INT -- SOLITARY CONFINEMENT -- DAY (1955) 149内景—禁闭室—白天
  Andy doesn‘t seem to mind. His arms sweep to the music still playing in his head. We hear a FAINT ECHO of the soaring duet.
  安迪似乎并不在意,还在指挥着盘旋在脑海中的音乐。可以听到微弱的响起那激扬的二重唱。
  
  150 INT -- MESS HALL -- DAY (1955) 1 50内景—食堂—白天
  HEYWOOD海沃德
  Couldn‘t play somethin‘ good, huh? Hank Williams?
  “不能放首好的吗?汉克.威廉姆斯(音乐家)。”
  
  ANDY安迪
  They broke the door down before I could take requests.
  “在我能够接受点播时,他们把门撞破了。”
  
  FLOYD弗洛伊德
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共有 43 个评论
梅雪飞   湖北武汉  2024/12/8 13:42:54 
英文太到位了
横眉冷退   四川凉山州  2022/4/13 13:07:51 
如果我是诺顿,我就让囚犯们轮换牢房,一年一换,完全随机。那么,你懂的,自由就被关住了,关得死死的。
GintY   广东东莞  2022/1/16 16:43:05 
挺经典的,不过有点get不到一个正能量的主旨,感觉负面气息挺严重的
前行   广东深圳  2022/1/2 13:59:52 
大赞。这样写故事的方式值得学习,太棒了。一,时间(时空)处理上,写得妙。两张明星画相海报把时间跨度交代得清清楚楚。二,其实编剧最怕的是在写剧本时,过多用独白。原因是怕过多解释剧情和情节,让故事没有悬念,没看头。但这个故事处理得很巧妙。独白并没有向前解释剧情,使故事永远留下悬念。三是交叉剪辑手法。让故事越来越有看头,充满悬念。
前行   广东深圳  2021/12/30 15:00:41 
太好了,电影拉片剧本。其实电影的对白不需要什么华丽的语言,就是平常人所说的话,脱口而出。通俗易懂。还有是镜头语言表达。如果是要按真正的语言表达标准来要求,有的语句甚至可以说是病句,按正规的主谓宾表达方式要求,如果真正那样做,有不少病句,不通顺的地方出现。但并不影响对一个电影剧本的完美表达。还有一个是,有的时候,对方要求编剧写剧本时,有字数要求,规定三万字以内之类的。显然是忽略了电影的表达方式。只要它是一个好故事,表达方式能深入电影中的每一个细节,这就是好剧本。字数多点又如何。
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