编剧培训班
编剧培训班
剧本诊断
剧本诊断
字数:177587
豆瓣评分:9.7
阅读:154376
添加:2011/4/1
贡献:美丽人生
悬疑 电影剧本 名作鉴赏
肖申克的救赎(中英对照) (1994)
编剧:弗兰克·达拉邦特、斯蒂芬·金
  • 故事梗概
  • 作品正文
  
  TOMMY汤米
  Yes sir. Absolutely. “是的先生,绝对真话。”
  
  NORTON诺顿
  Would you be willing to swear before a judge and jury……having placed your hand on the Good Book and taken an oath before Almighty God Himself?
  “你能在法官和陪审团面前发誓吗?你能把你的手放在圣经上面当着万能的上帝起誓吗?”
  
  TOMMY汤米
  Just gimme that chance. “我盼望着这个机会。”
  
  NORTON诺顿
  That‘s what I thought. “我正是如此想法。”
  
  Norton drops his cigarette. Crushes it out with the toe of his shoe. Glances up toward the plate shop roof as--
  诺顿扔掉香烟,用鞋尖碾碎,然后朝车牌厂的房顶看了一眼。
  
  HIGH ANGLE FROM PLATE SHOP ROOF (SNIPER POV)房顶的高角镜头(狙击手的视线)
  -- a rifle scope pops up into frame, jumping Tommy‘s image into startling magnification, framed in the crosshairs.
  一支瞄准镜出现在屏幕,汤米被放大的惊人的清楚,固定在十字线中央。
  
  200 THE SNIPER 200 狙击手
  rapid-fires a carbine -- BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM! -- his face lit up by the muzzle flashes. Captain Hadley.
  速射卡宾枪—砰!砰!砰!砰!---枪口喷出的火光照亮了那张脸,队长哈雷。
  
  201 TOMMY 201 汤米
  gets chewed to pieces by the gunfire. He smacks the ground in a twitching, thrashing heap. Eyes wide and staring. Dead. Surprise still stamped on his face. Silence now. Norton turns, strolls into darkness.
  被子弹连续击中,抽搐着倒在地上,蜷成一团,眼睛睁着死去,脸上仍是惊诧的表情。诺顿转身,步入黑暗。
  
  202 INT -- SOLITARY WING -- DAY (1966) 202 内景—禁闭室大门—白天
  GUARDS approach Andy‘s cell. The door is unlocked. Andy emerges slowly, blinking painfully at the light.
  守卫走近禁闭室,把门打开。安迪慢慢走出来,灯光下显得异常虚弱。
  
  203 INT/EXT -- PRISON -- DAY (1966) 203 内/外景—监狱—白天
  Andy is marched along. Convicts stop to stare. 安迪往前走着,犯人们停下来看他。
  
  204 INT -- NORTON‘S OFFICE -- DAY (1966) 204 内景—诺顿办公室—白天
  Andy is led in. The door is closed. Alone with Norton. Softly,
  安迪被带进来,门被关上,与诺顿单独呆在一起。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  Terrible thing. Man that young, less than a year to go, trying to escape. Broke Captain Hadley‘s
  heart to shoot him, truly it did.
  “真可怕,那么年轻,还不到一年就可以出去,却想逃狱。射杀他伤透了哈雷队长的心,伤透了。”
  
  ANDY安迪
  I‘m done. It stops right now. Get H&R Block to declare your income.
  “我不干了,现在结束了。让税务公司宣布你的收入吧。”
  
  Norton lunges to his feet, eyes sparkling with rage. 诺顿猛地站了起来,眼睛里充满着愤怒。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  Nothing stops! NOTHING! Or you will do the hardest time there is. No more protection from the guards. I‘ll pull you out of that one-bunk Hilton and put you in with the biggest bull queer I can find. You‘ll think you got fucked by a train! And the library? Gone! Sealed off brick by brick! We‘ll have us a little book-barbecue in the yard! They‘ll see the flames for miles! We‘ll dance around it like wild Indians! Do you understand me? Are you catching my drift?
  “什么都不会结束的,不会!我会让你难受透顶的!没有守卫的保护,我把你从单人间调出,放入到我知道的最粗暴的鸡奸犯那里。你会感到就像被一列火车在干你!至于图书馆,没了!一块砖一块砖的把它封掉,然后在院子里举行一次用书做燃料的烧烤!火焰在几英里外都看得到!我们会像印弟安人一样在火边起舞!你明白了吗?你懂了吗?”
  
  SLOW PUSH IN on Andy‘s face. Eyes hollow. His beaten expression says it all……
  镜头慢慢推近安迪的脸庞,眼神空洞,被击败的表情说明了一切……
  
  205 EXT -- PRISON YARD -- DAY (1966) 205 外景—操场—白天
  Red finds Andy sitting in the shadow of the high stone wall, poking listlessly through the dust for small pebbles. Red waits for some acknowledgment. Andy doesn‘t even look up. Red hunkers down and joins him. Nothing is said for the longest time. And then, softly:
  瑞德看到安迪坐在高高的石墙下面,无精打彩的拂去鹅卵石上尘土。瑞德等安迪示意他过去,安迪却连头也没有抬。瑞德盘腿坐到他旁边,两个人很长时间也没有说话。最后,轻轻地:
  
  ANDY安迪
  My wife used to say I‘m a hard man to know. Like a closed book. Complained about it all the time. (pause) She was beautiful. I loved her. But I guess I couldn‘t show it enough. (softly) I killed her, Red.
  “我妻子曾说我是个难于理解的人,像一本合着的书,她总在抱怨。(停了一下)她很美,我爱她,但是也许我表示的不够。(轻轻地)是我杀了她,瑞德。”
  
  Andy finally glances to Red, seeking a reaction. Silence.
  安迪终于看了一眼瑞德,等待对方的反应,还是沉寂。
  
  ANDY安迪
  I didn‘t pull the trigger. But I drove her away. That‘s why she died. Because of me, the way I am.
  “不是我开的枪,但是我把她赶走的,那是她死去的原因。因为我,因为我那样对她。”
  
  RED瑞德
  That don‘t make you a murderer. Bad husband, maybe.
  “那你并不是凶手,顶多是个不好的丈夫。”
  
  Andy smiles faintly in spite of himself. Red gives his shoulder a squeeze.
  安迪不由自主的笑了起来,瑞德耸耸肩。
  
  RED瑞德
  Feel bad about it if you want. But you didn‘t pull the trigger.
  “你可以为此难过,但不是你开的枪。”
  
  ANDY安迪
  No. I didn‘t. Someone else did, and I wound up here. Bad luck, I guess.
  “是的,不是我开的。别人杀了她,我却在这里受罪。我想是运气不好吧。”
  
  RED瑞德
  Bad luck? Jesus. “运气不好?天!”
  
  ANDY安迪
  It floats around. Has to land on somebody. Say a storm comes through. Some folks sit in their living rooms and enjoy the rain. The house next door gets torn out of the ground and smashed flat. It was my turn, that‘s all. I was in the path of the tornado. (softly) I just had no idea the storm would go on as long as it has. (glances to him) Think you‘ll ever get out of here?
  “它一旦来临,就一定会降临到某个人的身上。比如一场暴雨来临,有些人在他们的卧室里坐着享受,隔壁却被折磨、摧毁。这次轮上了我,就这样。我碰到了这场龙卷风,(轻轻地)只是没想到时间会这么长。(看看瑞德)你想过离开这儿吗?”
  
  RED瑞德
  Sure. When I got a long white beard and about three marbles left rolling around upstairs.
  “当然。等到我长着长长的白胡子的时候,等到我老糊涂的时候。”
  
  ANDY安迪
  Tell you where I‘d go. Zihuatanejo.“告诉你我会去哪儿,泽华塔尼。”
  
  RED瑞德
  Zihuatanejo? “泽华塔尼?”
  
  ANDY安迪
  Mexico. Little place right on the Pacific. You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific? hey say it has no memory. That‘s where I‘d like to finish out my life, Red. A warm place with no memory. Open a little hotel right on the beach. Buy some worthless old boat and fix it up like new. Take my guests out charter fishing. (beat) You know, a place like that, I‘d need a man who can get things.
  “墨西哥,地处太平洋的一个小地方。你知道墨西哥人是怎样谈论太平洋的吗?他们说那里没有回忆。在海滩上开一个小旅馆,买些不值钱的旧船翻新,让客人们包船钓鱼。(拍拍瑞德)要知道,像这样的地方,我需要一个能找到东西的人。”
  
  Red stares at Andy, laughs. 瑞德瞪着安迪,大笑。
  
  RED瑞德
  Jesus, Andy. I couldn‘t hack it on the outside. Been in here too long. I‘m an institutional man now. Like old Brooks Hatlen was.
  “天!安迪,我外面是混不下去的,在这儿呆得时间太长啦,我现在是一个被制度化了的人,就像老布鲁克斯.哈特兰。”
  
  ANDY安迪
  You underestimate yourself. “你小看自己了。”
  
  RED“瑞德”
  Bullshit. In here I‘m the guy who can get it for you. Out there, all you need are Yellow Pages. I wouldn‘t know where to begin. (derisive snort) Pacific Ocean? Hell. Like to scare me to death, somethin‘ that big.
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共有 43 个评论
梅雪飞  湖北武汉 2024/12/8 13:42:54 
英文太到位了
横眉冷退  四川凉山州 2022/4/13 13:07:51 
如果我是诺顿,我就让囚犯们轮换牢房,一年一换,完全随机。那么,你懂的,自由就被关住了,关得死死的。
GintY  广东东莞 2022/1/16 16:43:05 
挺经典的,不过有点get不到一个正能量的主旨,感觉负面气息挺严重的
前行  广东深圳 2022/1/2 13:59:52 
大赞。这样写故事的方式值得学习,太棒了。一,时间(时空)处理上,写得妙。两张明星画相海报把时间跨度交代得清清楚楚。二,其实编剧最怕的是在写剧本时,过多用独白。原因是怕过多解释剧情和情节,让故事没有悬念,没看头。但这个故事处理得很巧妙。独白并没有向前解释剧情,使故事永远留下悬念。三是交叉剪辑手法。让故事越来越有看头,充满悬念。
前行  广东深圳 2021/12/30 15:00:41 
太好了,电影拉片剧本。其实电影的对白不需要什么华丽的语言,就是平常人所说的话,脱口而出。通俗易懂。还有是镜头语言表达。如果是要按真正的语言表达标准来要求,有的语句甚至可以说是病句,按正规的主谓宾表达方式要求,如果真正那样做,有不少病句,不通顺的地方出现。但并不影响对一个电影剧本的完美表达。还有一个是,有的时候,对方要求编剧写剧本时,有字数要求,规定三万字以内之类的。显然是忽略了电影的表达方式。只要它是一个好故事,表达方式能深入电影中的每一个细节,这就是好剧本。字数多点又如何。
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