编剧培训班
编剧培训班
剧本诊断
剧本诊断
字数:177587
豆瓣评分:9.7
阅读:154380
添加:2011/4/1
贡献:美丽人生
悬疑 电影剧本 名作鉴赏
肖申克的救赎(中英对照) (1994)
编剧:弗兰克·达拉邦特、斯蒂芬·金
  • 故事梗概
  • 作品正文
  Just about done, sir. “马上就完,先生。”
  
  We follow Norton to his wife‘s sampler. He swings it aside, works the combination dial, opens the wall safe. Andy moves up, shoves in the black ledger and files. Norton shuts the safe.
  诺顿走她妻子的刺绣作品跟前,把它移开,转动密码盘,打开墙上的保险柜。安迪走上前,把帐本和文件塞入,诺顿关上保险柜。
  
  ANDY安迪
  Three deposits tonight. “今晚三笔款项。”
  
  Andy hands him the envelopes. Norton heads for the door.
  安迪把信封递给他,诺顿朝门口走去。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  Get my stuff down t‘laundry. And shine my shoes. I want ‘em lookin‘ like mirrors. (pauses at door)
  Nice havin‘ you back, Andy. Place just wasn‘t the same without you.
  “把我的衣服拿到洗衣房,再擦亮我的鞋子,要能照得出人影来。(在门口停下来)很高兴你回来,安迪,没你还真不行。”
  
  Norton exits. Andy turns to the laundry. He opens the shoebox. Nice pair of dress shoes inside. He sighs, glances down at the old ragged pair of work shoes on his own feet.
  诺顿走了,安迪走到诺顿的衣物前,打开鞋盒,里面是一双优质的皮鞋。安迪叹息,低头看看自己脚上穿的已经破烂的工作鞋。
  
  209 INT -- NORTON‘S OFFICE -- NIGHT (1966) 209 内景—诺顿办公室—夜晚
  Andy is diligently shining Norton‘s shoes. 安迪在努力的擦鞋。
  
  210 INT -- PRISON CORRIDOR -- NIGHT (1966) 210 内景—监狱走廊—夜晚
  Andy trudges down the hallway, laundry slung over his shoulder,
  安迪费力的走着,肩上挂着诺顿的衣物。
  
  211 INT -- CELLBLOCK FIVE -- NIGHT (1966) 211 内景—五号囚楼—夜晚
  Andy nods to the GUARD. The guard BUZZES him through.
  安迪对守卫点点头,守卫让他进去。
  
  212 INT -- RED‘S CELL -- NIGHT (1966) 212 内景—瑞德的号房—夜晚
  Red hears Andy coming, moves to the bars. He watches Andy come up to the second tier and pause before his cell.
  瑞德听到安迪的声音,走到栅栏前,他看着安迪上了二层然后停在自己的号房前。
  
  GUARD (O.S.) 守卫
  Open number twelve! “打开12号。”
  
  Andy gazes directly at Red. A beat of eye contact. Red shakes his head. Don‘t do it. Andy smiles, eerily calm……and enters his cell. The door closes. KA-THUMP! We hold on Red‘s face.
  安迪正好看到瑞德,两人目光发生触碰。瑞德摇摇头,示意不要那样做。安迪微笑,出奇的平静,走进了牢房,牢门咣铛的关上,镜头对准瑞德的脸庞。
  
  213 INT -- ANDY‘S CELL -- NIGHT (1966) 213 内景—安迪的号房—夜晚
  Andy is polishing a chess piece. 安迪正在打磨棋子。
  
  VOICE (O.S.) 人声
  Lights out! “熄灯!”
  
  The lights bump off. He finishes polishing, holds up the piece to admire. A pawn. He sets it down with the others -- and we realize it‘s the final glance for the board. A full set. He gazes up at Racquel and smiles. Pulls a six foot length of rope from under his pillow. Lets it uncoil to the floor.
  灯灭掉了,他结束打磨,举起手中的棋子欣赏--一个卒子。安迪把它与其它的棋子放到一起,给人一种这是最后一次看到这棋盘的感觉,一整副象棋。他盯着墙上的兰蔻微笑着,从枕头下拿出一根六英尺长的绳子,让它卷开,直到地板。
  
  214 INT -- RED‘S CELL -- NIGHT (1966) 214内景—瑞德的号房—夜晚
  Red sits in the dark, a bundle of nerves, trying to hold himself still. He feels like he might scream or shake to pieces. The seconds tick by, each an eternity.
  瑞德坐在黑暗中,极度紧张,他在努力的控制自己,生怕自己会尖叫、颤抖起来。时间仿佛停滞,每一秒都那么漫长。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  I have had some long nights in stir. Alone in the dark with nothing but your thoughts, time can
  draw out like a blade……
  “我在牢里经历过一些这样的夜晚,独自呆在黑暗中,除了思考什么都没有,时间变缓延长……”
  
  A FLASH OF LIGHTNING outside his window sends harsh barred shadows jittering across the cell. A storm breaking.
  闪电夺目,把牢房的栅影颤抖地映出,暴雨突来。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德
  That was the longest night of my life…… “这是我一生中最长的夜晚……”
  
  215 INT -- CELLBLOCK FIVE -- MORNING (1966) 215内景—五号囚楼—早晨
  KA-THUMP! The master lock is thrown. The cons emerge from their cells and the headcount begins. Red looks back to see if Andy‘s in line. He‘s not. Suddenly the count stalls:
  咣啷!囚楼主锁弹开,犯人们各自走出牢房等待点名。瑞德回头看安迪,他不在队伍中。点名突然停止。
  
  GUARD 守卫
  Man missing on tier two! Cell 12! “二层少人!12号牢房!”
  
  The head bull, HAIG, checks his list: 卫兵头,海格,查看名单。
  
  HAIG 海格
  Dufresne? Get your ass out here, boy! You‘re holding up the show! (no answer) Don‘t make me come down there now! I‘ll thump your skull for you!
  “杜弗兰!给我滚出来,小子!你在耽误事情!(没人回答)你要再不出来,我就走下去敲你的脑袋!”
  
  Still no answer. Glaring, Haig stalks down the tier, clipboard in hand. His men fall in behind.
  仍然没有回答。海格瞪着眼睛,怒气冲冲的走下来,手里拿着点名册,后面跟着手下。
  
  HAIG 海格
  Dufresne, dammit, you‘re putting me behind! You better be sick or dead in there, I shit you not!
  “杜弗兰,妈的,你这是在折腾我!你最好是病倒,要不就是死在那儿,否则我要你好看!”
  
  They arrive at bars. Their faces go slack. Stunned.
  他们来到12号牢房门口,一个个脸色渐变,呆若木鸡。
  
  HAIG(Softly)Oh my Holy God.海格(轻轻地)“哦,我的上帝呀!”
  
  216 REVERSE ANGLE 216视角反转
  reveals the cell is empty. Everything neat and tidy. Even the bunk is stowed. They wrench the door open and rush in, tossing the cell in a panic as if Andy might be lurking under the Kleenex or the toothpaste. CAMERA ROCKETS IN on Haig as he spins toward us, bellowing at the top of his lungs:
  牢房是空的,东西整洁的摆放着,床铺也叠的很好。他们推开门挤进去,惊慌地翻着牢里的各个角落,好像安迪会藏在纸盒或牙膏里。镜头快速对准海格,他转过身面对镜头,用尽力气大叫:
  
  HAIG 海格
  WHAT THE FUCK! “操他妈的!”
  
  217 INT -- NORTON‘S OFFICE -- MORNING (1966) 217内景—诺顿办公室—早晨
  Norton is kicking back with the morning paper. He notices ha dingy his shoes are. He glances at the shoebox on the desk. kicks his shoes off, opens the box -- and gulls out Andy‘s grimy work shoes. He stares blankly. What the fuck indeed.
  诺顿踢着报纸,看到自己鞋子很脏,于是踢掉脚上的鞋子,把桌上的鞋盒打开—安迪的脏鞋在里面。他傻傻的看着,这他妈的是怎么回事?
  
  An ALARM STARTS BLARING throughout the prison. He looks up.
  警报声响彻整个监狱,诺顿抬起头来。
  
  218 EXT -- PRISON -- DAY (1966) 218 外景—监狱—白天
  Norton and Hadley stride across the grounds, ALARM BLARING.
  随着警报声,诺顿和哈雷大步走来。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  I want every man on that cellblock questioned! Start with that friend of his!
  “囚楼里每一个人都要问到!从他的朋友开始!”
  
  HADLEY哈雷
  who? 谁?
  
  INT -- CELLBLOCK FIVE -- RED‘S CELL -- DAY内景—五号囚楼—瑞德的号房—白天
  Red watches as Norton storms up with an entourage of guards.
  瑞德看到诺顿带着一队随从怒气冲天的走上来。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  Him. “他”。
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共有 43 个评论
梅雪飞  湖北武汉 2024/12/8 13:42:54 
英文太到位了
横眉冷退  四川凉山州 2022/4/13 13:07:51 
如果我是诺顿,我就让囚犯们轮换牢房,一年一换,完全随机。那么,你懂的,自由就被关住了,关得死死的。
GintY  广东东莞 2022/1/16 16:43:05 
挺经典的,不过有点get不到一个正能量的主旨,感觉负面气息挺严重的
前行  广东深圳 2022/1/2 13:59:52 
大赞。这样写故事的方式值得学习,太棒了。一,时间(时空)处理上,写得妙。两张明星画相海报把时间跨度交代得清清楚楚。二,其实编剧最怕的是在写剧本时,过多用独白。原因是怕过多解释剧情和情节,让故事没有悬念,没看头。但这个故事处理得很巧妙。独白并没有向前解释剧情,使故事永远留下悬念。三是交叉剪辑手法。让故事越来越有看头,充满悬念。
前行  广东深圳 2021/12/30 15:00:41 
太好了,电影拉片剧本。其实电影的对白不需要什么华丽的语言,就是平常人所说的话,脱口而出。通俗易懂。还有是镜头语言表达。如果是要按真正的语言表达标准来要求,有的语句甚至可以说是病句,按正规的主谓宾表达方式要求,如果真正那样做,有不少病句,不通顺的地方出现。但并不影响对一个电影剧本的完美表达。还有一个是,有的时候,对方要求编剧写剧本时,有字数要求,规定三万字以内之类的。显然是忽略了电影的表达方式。只要它是一个好故事,表达方式能深入电影中的每一个细节,这就是好剧本。字数多点又如何。
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