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电影编剧实战班25 天后开课 去看看
字数:177335
豆瓣评分:9.7
阅读:158073
添加:2011/4/1
贡献:美丽人生
悬疑 电影剧本 名作鉴赏
肖申克的救赎(中英对照) (1994)
编剧:弗兰克·达拉邦特、斯蒂芬·金
  • 故事梗概
  • 作品正文
  
  Red‘s eyes widen. Guards yank him from his cell. 瑞德睁大双眼,卫兵把他从牢房里拽出来。
  
  220 INT -- ANDY‘S CELL -- DAY (1966) 220 内景—安迪的号房—白天
  Norton steps to the center of the room, working himself up into a fine rage:
  诺顿走到牢房中间,开始大发雷霆。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  What do you mean "he just wasn‘t here?" Don‘t say that to me, Haig! Don‘t say that to me again!
  “他不在这儿是什么意思?别那样对我说,海格!别再那样对我说!”
  
  HAIG海格
  But sir! He wasn‘t! He isn‘t! “可是长官!他就是没在,没在!”
  
  NORTON诺顿
  I can see that, Haig! You think I‘m blind? Is that what you‘re saying? Am I blind, Haig?
  “我看得见,海格!你以为我瞎了么?我是说你是什么意思?我瞎了么,海格?”
  
  HAIG海格
  No sir! “不,长官!”
  
  Norton grabs the clipboard and thrusts it at Hadley. 诺顿抓过来点名册塞给哈雷。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  What about you? You blind? Tell me what this is! “你呢?你也瞎了?告诉我这是什么!”
  
  HADLEY哈雷
  Last night‘s count. “昨晚的点名。”
  
  NORTON诺顿
  You see Dufresne‘s name? I sure do! Right there, see? "Dufresne." He was in his cell at lights out! Stands to reason he‘d still be here this morning! I want him found! Not tomorrow, not after breakfast! Now!
  “你看到杜弗兰的名字了么?我看到了,就在这儿,看到了么?杜弗兰,灯熄时还在牢房!今天早晨他应该还在这儿!我要找到他!不是明天,不是早饭后,我要现在!”
  
  Haig scurries out, gathering men. Norton spins to Red.
  海格急忙转身出去召集人手,诺顿转身对着瑞德。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  Well? “你呢?”
  
  RED瑞德
  Well what? “我怎么?”
  
  NORTON诺顿
  I see you two all the time, you‘re thick as thieves, you are! He must‘a said something!
  “我知道你俩天天在一起,亲密无比,狼狈为奸!他一定说了什么!”
  
  RED瑞德
  No sir, he didn‘t! “不,长官,他没说!”
  
  Norton spreads his arms evangelist-style, spins slowly around.
  诺顿像布道者一样张开双臂,慢慢转动身体。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  Lord! It‘s a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothin‘ left but some damn rocks on the windowsill and that cupcake on the wall! Let‘s ask her! Maybe she knows! What say there, Fuzzy- Britches? Feel like talking? Guess not. Why should you be different?
  “主啊!真是奇迹!人就这么消失了,像在风中放了一个屁!就剩下这些倒霉的石头和墙上的那个cupcake!(q15)我们来问她吧!也许她知道!说吧,水裤妞!想谈谈么?我想不会。你又有什么不同?”
  
  Red exchanges looks with the guards. Even they‘re nervous. Norton scoops a handful rocks off the sill. He hurls them at the wall one at a time, shattering them, punctuating his words:
  瑞德与卫兵们面面相觑,都有些紧张。诺顿从窗台抓起把石子,咒骂着,一个个的扔到墙上,掷碎。
  
  NORTON诺顿
  It‘s a conspiracy! (SMASH) That‘s what this is! (SMASH) It‘s one big damn conspiracy! (SMASH) And everyone‘s in on it! (SMASH) Including her!
  “这是阴谋!(掷碎石子)一定是这么回事!(掷碎石子)一个大大的见鬼的阴谋!(掷碎石子)包括她!”
  
  He sends the last rock whizzing right at Racquel. No smash.
  他把最后一粒石子奋力扔向墙上的兰寇(海报),这次石子没有碎。
  
  It takes a moment for this to sink in. All eyes go to her. The rock went through her. There‘s a small hole in the poster where her navel used to be. You could hear a pin drop. Norton reaches up, sinks his finger into the hole. He keeps pushing……and his entire hand disappears into the wall.
  大家愣住了,所有人都看向兰寇。石子穿过了她,在她的肚脐部位穿了一个小孔。大家安静的掉根针都能听见。诺顿走上前,把手指伸进小孔,继续伸,一直把整支手都伸进了墙里。
  
  221 ANGLE FROM BEHIND POSTER 221[视角来自海报后面]
  as Norton rips the poster from before our eyes. Stunned faces peer in. CAMERA PULLS LOWLY BACK……to reveal the long crumbling tunnel in the wall.
  诺顿把海报撕掉,露出大家震惊的面孔。镜头慢慢后推,墙上一条长长的隧道显现出来。
  
  222 INT -- ANDY‘S CELL -- MINUTES LATER (1966) 222 内景—安迪的号房—几分钟后
  RORY TREMONT, a guard barely out of his teens, tries not to look nervous as they lash a rope around his chest. He‘s getting instructions from six different people at once.
  罗里.崔蒙特,一个稚气未脱的卫兵,正努力抑制自己的恐慌,他们在往他身上绑绳子,同时接受着六人不同的指示。
  
  RED (V.O.)瑞德(旁白)
  They got this skinny kid named Rory Tremont to go in the hole. He wasn‘t much in the brains department, but he possessed the one most important qualification for the job…… (they slap a flashlight in his hands) ……he was willing to go.
  “他们把这个叫罗里.崔蒙特的瘦小孩子弄进洞里,在智囊团里,他可什么也算不上。但他却最合适来做这个工作……(他们往他手里塞了个电筒)他自愿去的。”
  
  223 INT -- TUNNEL -- DAY (1966) 223 内景—隧道—白天
  Rory squeezes down the tunnel on his belly. 罗里紧紧的贴着隧道爬行。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  Probably thought he‘d win a Bronze Star or something.
  “也许认为他能获得一枚铜星奖章之类的吧。”
  
  224 INT -- VERTICAL SHAFT -- DAY (1966) 224 内景—竖井—白天
  Dark as midnight. Concrete walls rise on both sides. If you imagine them as two huge slices of bread, the meat of this particular sandwich is about three feet of airspace and a dark tangle of pipes between the cellblocks. Rory‘s appears, shining his flashlight down the shaft. Somewhere, a rat SQUEAKS.
  如同午夜般的黑暗,两边是混凝土墙壁。可以想像一下两片巨大的面包,这块特殊的三明治中间的肉大约有三英尺厚,牢房间的黑色管子纠缠在一起。罗里爬出来,用手电照着竖井。某处,一支老鼠吱吱叫着。
  
  RED (V.O.) 瑞德(旁白)
  It was his third day on the job. “这是他干这活儿的第三天。”
  
  RORY 罗里
  Warden? There‘s a space here between the walls ‘bout three feet across! Smells pretty damn bad!
  “监狱长,墙壁间有空地儿,大约三英尺宽。气味很难闻!”
  
  NORTON (O.S.) 诺顿
  I don‘t care what it smells like! “我不管有多难闻!”
  
  HADLEY (O.S.) 哈雷
  Go on, boy! We got a hold of you! “继续,孩子!我们支持你!”
  
  Looking none too happy about it, Rory squeezes from the tunnel and dangles into the shaft. He gets lowered, shining his light, smothered by darkness. Not having a good time.
  看到每个人都不高兴,罗里从隧道中爬出,摇晃着进入竖井。他往下爬,打着手电,黑暗不时的把他遮住,真够难受的!
  
  RORY 罗里
  Hoo-whee! Smell‘s gettin‘ worse! 呜~~,越来越难闻!
  
  NORTON (O.S.) 诺顿
  Never mind, I said! Just keep going! “不要管!我命令,继续!”
  
  RORY 罗里
  Smells pretty damn bad, Warden! In fact, it smells just like shit.
  “简直太难闻了,监狱长,闻起来就是大粪!”
  
  His feet touch the ground -- or what he assumed was the ground. It‘s not. In fact, it‘s just what it smells like. He sinks in past his ankles. He slips and sits heavily in it.
  他脚着了地,或着说是他感觉是地。其实不是,事实上是他用嗅觉感觉到的。他的脚踝被淹没,重重的滑倒在里面。
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共有 43 个评论
梅雪飞   湖北武汉  2024/12/8 13:42:54 
英文太到位了
横眉冷退   四川凉山州  2022/4/13 13:07:51 
如果我是诺顿,我就让囚犯们轮换牢房,一年一换,完全随机。那么,你懂的,自由就被关住了,关得死死的。
GintY   广东东莞  2022/1/16 16:43:05 
挺经典的,不过有点get不到一个正能量的主旨,感觉负面气息挺严重的
前行   广东深圳  2022/1/2 13:59:52 
大赞。这样写故事的方式值得学习,太棒了。一,时间(时空)处理上,写得妙。两张明星画相海报把时间跨度交代得清清楚楚。二,其实编剧最怕的是在写剧本时,过多用独白。原因是怕过多解释剧情和情节,让故事没有悬念,没看头。但这个故事处理得很巧妙。独白并没有向前解释剧情,使故事永远留下悬念。三是交叉剪辑手法。让故事越来越有看头,充满悬念。
前行   广东深圳  2021/12/30 15:00:41 
太好了,电影拉片剧本。其实电影的对白不需要什么华丽的语言,就是平常人所说的话,脱口而出。通俗易懂。还有是镜头语言表达。如果是要按真正的语言表达标准来要求,有的语句甚至可以说是病句,按正规的主谓宾表达方式要求,如果真正那样做,有不少病句,不通顺的地方出现。但并不影响对一个电影剧本的完美表达。还有一个是,有的时候,对方要求编剧写剧本时,有字数要求,规定三万字以内之类的。显然是忽略了电影的表达方式。只要它是一个好故事,表达方式能深入电影中的每一个细节,这就是好剧本。字数多点又如何。
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